


a simple compromise

by womanaction



Category: Twin Peaks
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Self-Harm, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-29 16:47:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12089184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/womanaction/pseuds/womanaction
Summary: Diane wakes up. TP:TR spoilers.





	a simple compromise

**Author's Note:**

> (TP:TR spoilers).
> 
> Tulpa!Diane's first moments.

She’s just waking up.

Aimlessly, her eyes drift to her fist. Cutting through the haze, a flare of anger that she can’t identify. She doesn’t look too closely at the feeling. Instead, she narrows her eyes and clenches her fist.

It’s not right. The veins pulse there but it’s all wrong.

“Fuck,” she says absently, harshly. Trying it out. A weapon. She never needed one before. Or so she thought. “Fuck.” Clenches it harder, watches the blue against the white. The red blushing up from exertion. “ _Fuck_.”

It doesn’t feel good, but it feels…

She was never an artist with words. More of a listener. She squeezes her eyes shut again, huffs a breath, like she can block out the voice still echoing in her ears. Maybe if she smashes a bottle of vodka against her skull and lets the burning spirits seep into her brain she won’t hear him.

Focus. Single words. Never much of a talker. _Fuck_.

It’s like being a little kid. A little kid who got up and put their right shoe on their left foot and their left shoe on their right foot. They don’t know any better.

Like that, but it’s her soul. There, but on all wrong.

She wants to cry.

She decides it, right then and there. She’ll cry. Put that autonomy to some use. She screws up her face determinedly. Lip trembles. Face probably red, she always hated that about her face. It doesn’t even feel like hers anymore, like when she – _no,_ when he – in that place – like she got pumped full of Botox.

No tears.

She clenches her fist, long nails pressing moons into her palm. Pushes harder, not realizing what she wants until she finally breaks the skin. A few specks of red bubble up onto her French tips. It doesn’t reassure her.

“Well,” she says to herself after a minute, emptily. She watches the blood dry with mild fascination. “I could use a drink.”

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe it's just because Laura Dern, but I found tulpa!Diane to be strangely compelling. May write some more about the various incarnations of Diane this season.


End file.
